Toss Away the ‘Could Haves’ and ‘Should Haves’…

Planning an event with no regrets!

In honor of this year’s “Toss Away the ‘Could Haves’ and ‘Should Haves’” day tomorrow, we were inspired to give you a handful of tips to reference while planning your big day! Weddings can be trying and stressful at times, but we want you to know that your happiness is the most important! And of course, a few things to remember…

Our takes…

Chani:

My husband, Jeffrey, and I had about 180 guests at our wedding – a mix from all parts of our lives, but admittedly a large portion his family! With this, we wanted to be careful that even with a larger guest list, we weren’t taking on too large of a bill and internalizing far-fetched ideas from other weddings far outside of our budget. So we adhered to what made US happy… a bright spring day on our anniversary, brunch and bottomless mimosas, our favorite live band, local food vendors, and ultimately, peace of mind. Making smart decisions straight from our hearts gave us absolute joy, and now to be able to remember the day we said “I Do” as one with no could haves, would haves, or should haves… that is truly irreplaceable.

Melia:

Shawn and my wedding was a very small affair – 12 invited guests, which included our photographer (my now brother-in-law), and our officiant (my dad). I will never forget calling my mom right after signing the contract with the venue and breaking down into tears, asking her “Did I make a huge mistake? Should I have a larger wedding?” While her advice was not very helpful (“You might regret it”, she said – thanks mom!), it did allow me to think deeply about what I wanted out of my wedding, and I ended up with a wedding that I can look back on with little, if any real regrets!

Don’t compare your wedding to others

We know, it’s all too easy to scroll through your Facebook or Instagram feed and compare everything in your wedding to those details you see online! While it’s always great to get inspiration from others, remember that they likely chose that decoration, cake, dress, venue or theme because it meant something to them. Pinterest especially is a great tool, and can be useful when trying to find ideas and brainstorm your big day, but remember to incorporate your own personal touches and what is most meaningful to YOU.

And most of all, remember: it is not a competition! Down the road, you will love those little parts of your wedding the most that feel oh-so-perfectly you!

Be realistic

Whether it be your budget, space limitations at your venue, or how many of that out-of-season flower might be in your centerpieces, make sure you remain realistic as you plan for your big day. While we like to preach that anything is possible and encourage our brides to dream big, we also do so within the limitations of budget, resources, and time.

Staying optimistic but realistic during the planning process and considering how doable your ideas are is the key to having the wedding you want within your means. It doesn’t mean you can’t have 6 cakes in every one of you and your beau’s favorite flavors, it just means that you are also recognizing that it may take a larger chunk of your budget and could be more difficult to get to and store at the venue until it’s time to eat.

Life is all about shooting for the moon (and so are we!), but remember, it isn’t bad to land among the stars!

Just say “no”

“No” is a complete sentence. Now, say it again with me: “No” is a complete sentence.

Everyone has the best intentions when giving you their favorite wedding story, advice, or must-have for your wedding. Whether it be opinions on what your colors “work best” or family drama influencing who you invite, remember that this is your day, and more importantly, your life! We don’t want you to look back at your big day with regrets about being pushed in one direction or another, or incorporating something that just wasn’t “you”.

While friends and family members often mean well in their suggestions, it’s important to remember that this anticipated day is to honor and celebrate the newlyweds (you!) and it should reflect exactly that.

Hire a wedding planner

We know what you’re thinking, “hey that’s you”! And yes, It is! And we aren’t just here for the fun (though, we do love it). A wedding planner can magically and happily reduce the amount of time you spend researching who sells that one kind of cake, looking into wedding-related must-haves like decor, floral arrangements, and even what it takes to get your uncle ordained, allowing you to spend more time with your soon-to-be-spouse and enjoying that engaged life!

We definitely know how fun it is to find every little wedding item in the world to have at your wedding, but a planner will help you narrow all of that down into the scope of exactly what you actually want. And besides, having someone to text in a panicked moment is priceless, especially when they have the expertise and knowledge to help work through your concerns sooner than you can say, “HELP”!

Be present.

You didn’t plan this whole affair to not be able to enjoy it. While its easy to get wrapped up in those details that you were just dying for months earlier – don’t let small snags get in the way of enjoying your day and being present for each moment. Afterall, why you are here? To marry the love of your life! So, turn your phone on silent, forward all concerns to your day of coordinator, and take everything in around you. There aren’t many times in our lives that we are able to have our loved ones together in one place to celebrate such a wonderful occasion, and even fewer that our only responsibility is to just BE.

So walk down the aisle and remember each person’s face smiling your way, and most importantly, remember your future spouse’s face as they see you walking towards them. Your only job on your big day is to capture as many (happy!) memories as you possibly can!

Prioritize what is important to YOU… and stick to it!

Last, but not least, if a killer photographer or breathtaking floral arrangements are at the top of your “must haves” list, be sure to prioritize those things when breaking down your budget. Ultimately, what means a lot to you now is going to mean the most to you on the day-of too! You might need to juggle your budget around in a few areas to accommodate making that dream item happen, but staying true to your vision and prioritizing what YOU want will be worth every penny!

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